Focus

Focusing the mind was something I hardly even paid attention to in the early stages. I mean, in the early early stages, going into the most basic of postures and balances was so challenging for me that I couldn't help but not let my mind wander! I really had to concentrate very hard on doing everything even remotely right. But once I sorta got the hang of it, yoga became a place where I could think long and hard about basically everything: what I was doing in school, the ups and downs of my various relationships, what I happened to be worried about, some event that had happened that day or recently that was still bugging me -- etc. etc.
I was semi-aware somewhere in the back pf my mind that attempting to control the random thoughts that flash in and out at lightning speed might be a good idea. But sometimes when it comes to things you know you're not supposed to do, there's that one thing that you decide early on that you are going to do despite it all. (I am an expert at this at work. I suppose that somehow it has lodged into my belief system that certain rules simply don't apply to me! This calls for further reflection.) Anyway, that's how I long regarded the advice to leave cares and concerns at the door : I wasn't leaving my cares or concerns anywhere! In fact, I was going to use this 70 or 90 minute block of time to focus randomly and often from a negative angle on each and every one of them!

These days, I have come to realize, much as I stated yesterday that worrying is the worst thing I can do for my health, that nothing exhausts me more thoroughly than the monkey mind. For this reason, and a few others, I am growing a slow, steasy appreciation and respect for the cultivation of stillness of the mind. Focus. Concentration, the emptying of thoughts. Letting go.

It's a work in progress! More on this tpoic tomorrow, as well as a cool technique for improving concentration.