Flexibility

Mine comes and goes, especially my hamstrings. Did I say I had tight hips? I meant hamstrings!
I meant ... shoulders.
I meant ... spine. Can one even have a "tight" spine?
If there's anything on the body that can be tight, I've got that body part, and believe me, it's tight!

I took a visit to Science World this summer and there was this 'touch your toes' measure of flexibility thingy where you sit back against a little metal backrest, and then reach forward real quick and touch, to see how many centimetres forward you can reach. For my age category, it said my flexibility was a bit better than average, I think. In the world of yoga, that doesn't translate as all that impressive. I don't remember if my flexibility was at peak form on that day or not, but my hamstrings are very touch and go. Most times, if I take class first thing in the morning, I won't be able to touch my toes, at least not without a class worth of stretching. Looking around the room sometimes, I marvel at how open the young yoginis are. I feel you can really tell who has had a long history of bending their body, and it leaves me feeling rather regretful that I wasn't able to pursue something marvellous such as gymnastics or ballet as a child, some form of dance (or anything at all, really). Instead, I'm stuck with a body that really do much besides walk until the age of 24! Seriously. I realize that I'm better off than a lot of people, and I'm thankful towards myself and grateful for my natural physiology, but... One interesting thing is that one of our yoga teachers has told me repeatedly that I am very flexible naturally, but it would seem in areas of my body that aren't as obvious, such as my knees. What does it even mean to have knee flexibility? Great?!

Anyway, speaking of teachers, it really can hard when I've been practicing for such a long time, and feeling like if they see me on one of my off days, and I feel that well, they're going to think that I don't have a very impressive practice. And, if only they'd seen me practicing two nights ago! Then they would easily be able to see how hard I work in yoga! I know it sounds silly as heck, but someone's gotta say it. I don't buy into it when teachers go on and on about it not being a competition, and not to judge yourself, etc. I just find it annoying, and not helpful at all. I wish they would just acknowledge that sometimes it IS a freaking competition and it's not as easy as 1-2-3 to let that go in your mind. Besides, easy for people with a beautiful practice to say. I mean, I absolutely, 100% agree that one should go easy on oneself and be satisfied with one's best, no matter what that is, it's just that one can't very well be expected to say to oneself "Stop caring" and be done with it. Just as anyone loves a compliment, we also tend to take it personally when one of our goofs are observed. It's the basic psychology that drives the human race towards constant betterment. Without this psychological factor, we honestly wouldn't be able to make progress in our various endeavours.

Anyway, it doesn't happen all the time that I get bummed out if I'm having an off class. Some days I'm more tender and vulnerable. Others I actually don't give a shit. The whole world can see me sitting on my mat, or giving what appears to be bare minimum effort, but what is genuinely my very best at that moment.