LOA thinking!

Jesus said, above all things I want you to prosper. I want to prosper too!

The universe is not a thing that is going to push us around.

We are allowed and able to DEMAND THAT THE UNIVERSE GIVE US WHAT WE WANT!

So, I have been immersing myself in the application of Law of Attraction principles in order to turn my life around and get what I want! I have been studying and trying to practice LOA since 2007, and it's definitely changed my way of thinking, and helped me to get my life on track. (That could also be in part due to the process of maturation, but there are many links in this life.) I used to be such a flounderer, as I've alluded to in this blog, and in some ways, I still am. But I'm proud of the great strides I've made, and I do attribute many of my successes to the teachings and principles associated with LOA, mindfulness, and New Age thought. I don't feel that this stuff is merely a heap of dismiss-worthy nonsense. Some of it, yes. And I realize that a lot of people who are into "woo" type stuff can be rather credulous. Some stuff I've heard individual people say is silly and even dangerous, and that turned me off everything, including all religious thought, for many years (that was during my skeptical/rational stage, which I'll get into another time). I guess what got me to where I am today in terms of my own personal philosophy was all the silly and dangerous teachings thrown about in all fields - in the skeptic crowd, in science, in philosophy, in medicine, (of course), and in our culture. I'm still in the process of rejecting everything I've been taught or influenced to think and establishing what I want to believe, what is important to me, what actually appeals to me rationally and intuitively. It's a process.

I can tell you that it's not easy to change the subconscious, to unlearn and re-write. You also don't want to completely discard all the good things you've learned. I've long pondered that living in the information age is the ultimate blessing and curse, because I have always been enamoured of the Internet and how beneficial it is, but at the same time also leads people down bizarre paths of belief, and it becomes very difficult to decipher what is credible and good information, and what absolutely isn't. 

Anyway, depending on how strong our limiting beliefs are, (and I have some seemingly iron clad limiting beliefs, it would seem), it becomes something where if you truly want success, you have to change your whole approach to life, and become a very strong person, strong in your views, confident in your decisions and assertions. Sometimes I feel that I am, and other times, I'm back to floundering.

For me, it's not that I don't believe in the principles or understand them, it's just that applying them and avoiding going back into the negative thought loop has been very challenging for me. I have been so prone to thinking negatively, and being fearful - all that. 

Last night, something significant happened during my meditation (I should say that for me, meditation is twenty minutes per day of just sitting there completely still, with my eyes closed, trying to focus on my breathing and curb the barrage of thoughts that race through my head). Inevitably, my mind starts wandering - anyway, I began to REALLY visualize what I wanted in a way I hadn't been doing. A lot of times I repeat affirmations (not during meditation usually unless I really cannot focus), but so far that hasn't been a very effective tool for me. (And I believe that they can be for many people, and they may be for me one day, but just that has not been the case thus far.) But whether it was due to my pleasant level of fatigue or that I am becoming a better meditator (and visualizer, as I had been doing visualizations last Saturday because my chakra theme of the day was third eye chakra, so I was just doing some exercises I had learned), I just visualized myself where I wanted to be in a very powerful, clear, and real way, and it felt like I was doing something I had never done before.

And suddently there was a spider crawling on me, down my arm! A big one. I yelped and jumped out of meditation, and brushed it off my arm and on to my bed. It didn't bother me that much because I am not really that scared of spiders, but I couldn't help thinking "This is a sign!" I honestly dont even remember the last time I saw a spider, let alone found one crawling on me. I don't think I ever have. And it had to come at that very moment?! I felt very strongly that it was some kind of sign, that I had found the key to making LOA work for me - although it cut my meditation short and that was a little disappointing!

Resulting thought: Words are for wimps. Mental pics are for mighty warriors! (That just came to me after my meditation, it's not meant to be particularly clever.)

I had a long sleep last night because I was tired and I needed it, about 9 hours. My body asked for that and I am grateful I was able to give it to myself. That will have a positive effect on my entire day.

My first thought today (as it has been so many times) was, AGAIN? Since I started devoting myself to the project of re-creating my life into exactly what I want it to be and diminishing my bad habits, every day has seemed so long, such a trial! I have been sorting through so much data in my brain as well as taking in new information, re-writing all the old codes and making discoveries. Every day is really a big, big day. I imagine that this is what young children with brains like sponges go through, just sucking up heaps of information every day and then the processing that goes with it. No wonder they sleep so soundly. (Whereas I think adults just start to worry and mull over everything and that takes up so much energy it's hard to learn new things, and worrying and mulling do not encourage good sleep! So, calling it quits with my co-dependent relationship with worry and mulling and instead devoting my energies to learning and processing is one of my biggest projects!) 

Anyway, I am absolutely up for the challenge, but first thing in the morning it does feel somewhat overwhelming, because in truth I am not a child, I am an adult, and I have been trained for so long to just worry about everything. I think something that adds to that is not being organized, waking up to a messy room or shaky plans, waking up and having to be in a rush (if it is a work day, which today wasn't, of course.) And I have seen evidence of that feeling being somewhat diminished or lessened when I wake up completely organized and with my day all planned out. It is really MUCH better, and this also applies to non-work days. This is hard for me because of my long habits of disorderly and chaotic dealings with my belongings and my living space - again, another project.

(Another idea I had was putting my chakra focus affirmation card by my bed and thinking about that first thing. Just taking a few moments to build up the courage to start all over again.)

Back to my disorganized ways, lately I have become really annoyed and exhausted when leaving the house takes me half an hour just to get my bag packed and find everything I need, or more. It's ridiculous, I totally reject it. What a waste of time. And so many days, it has been like that. In a way it's not my wrong-doing because whether I am walking, driving, or taking the bus, I do need different things, and I want to bring varied things anyway because of the types of things I like to do. But it is excessive, and still a challenge. Today will be better.