Yesterday for breakfast instead of my usual fruit and/or oatmeal and/or green smoothie I flipped my health the bird and consumed two and a half pieces of buttered toast with pb and jam, one gigantic pancake positively drenched in butter and syrup (and not actual maple syrup, not even close, we're talking high fructose corn syrup delight here), two slices of cardboard turkey bacon which I will never eat again as long as I shall live, and two fried eggs. And coffee.
Um. Whoa. What.
I devoured this monstrosity at about 9:59 am and had planned on attending a 12:15 Bikram yoga class. What was I thinking? Not even close. I hate to be one of these health nuts that acts like any food that is not in its organic, vegan, raw, state might as well be mainly composed of arsenic, but this breakfast really had a negative effect on me. I already knew I was in trouble on the drive home. After having had a full night's sleep and luxurious Saturday morning sleep in, I had to go right back to bed at around 11:30. I literally could not keep my eyes open for long enough to read more than a sentence or two of my book at a time, and drifted in and out of a fitful sleep for about two hours. I barely, barely recovered in time to trudge down to the studio for 2:15 pm class, which was the latest class I could attend as I had plenty of other things to do yesterday, such as move house (!), that I could not attend to as I lay in a Denny's Breakfast Coma wondering how the hell I was going to get through class and then go to a kid's birthday party and then go out for a night on the town and try to find someone to marry me.
My class was not easy. I was very low energy, especially at first, and I had approximately three minor panic attacks during Pranayama Breathing. The high-expectation, eagle-eyed teacher lay off me, thank Godliness, even though I had gone and placed myself right at the mirror to the left of the stage in an effort to motivate myself. I regretted this decision during the first few postures, in a big, big way.
But then, awesomely, something truly funny occurred that caused in me the rumblings of deep, belly laughter one normally does not associate with yoga. Unless it's Laughter Yoga, of course. Anyway, I hadn't laughed as hard as that in a long time, and certainly not during class: our teacher repeatedly did various imitations of the worst type of practitioner kicking out in a wildly unstable way (on a bent knee, of course) during Standing Head to Knee, in order to show us what not to do. I can't really explain why, but it was some of the funniest shit I had ever seen. He made me laugh a few more times during class, which was so refreshing, and gave me the energy I needed for a great floor series despite my comatose beginnings.
In light of this little anecdote about the hilarious, verbose, risk-taking Patrick Chui, I wanted to mention that I am reading Hellbent (click to read reviews on Amazon). As you can see, this book, which was written by a pretty dedicated (yet not without concerns & doubts regarding the practice and the "cult of bikram" in general) Bikram yogi who went to BY teacher training, got some pretty great reader reviews. I haven't finished yet, but I have mixed feelings myself. I will save my commentary for after I am done. The book is really informative and I've been reading it slowly, usually when I don't feel like going to class, because as honest and skeptical a look at the whole circus sideshow that the world of Bikram Yoga that this writer's perspective really IS, it is nonetheless a great motivator. I hear people criticizing this style of yoga almost every day, and I am not without worries myself, so although in many ways the practice does speak for itself and that is all that really matters to me, my interest was piqued when I saw this book.
Anyway, one of the key concepts that the writer hones in on is that Bikram Yoga teacher training does not necessarily aim to churn out good teachers. Well! I feel like this is something I already knew, but to have it spelled out like that, I didn't know whether to be furious or approving. The training program is basically just there to ensure that new teachers memorize the dialogue, and from Bikram's perspective, there is a sense in which that is all that really matters. I do get that. People also say that the longer you practice, the less it matters who is teaching the class.
Personally, I think the quality of Bikram Yoga teachers varies a lot, and for me, it can make a huge difference on those days when I am struggling. Sometimes it absolutely does not, and that is where I see my development as a practitioner and the beauty of the dialogue. There are teachers that just spew out the dialogue without any additions or personal corrections - nothing but straight-up dialogue delivered in an even tone. I had a class like this a few days ago and it was really rather refreshing. (It actually made me think about how a lot of the nonsense teachers babble during class can be annoying and I worry that their shitty opinions are going to tattoo themselves onto my subconscious, because I am so open to receiving their words during my practice.)
But for me, I'm already hooked. The main reason why a "good" teacher is more desirable than a crappy one or a really standard kind of teacher that doesn't stray from the dialogue is that with all the distractions life has to offer and the considerable commitment that maintaining a regular practice requires, studios really need those knockout teachers to provide motivation. Think about how many students drop out and start doing different styles of yoga, or stop doing yoga altogether. This happens by the hundreds! Let's face it, Bikram Yoga is more challenging, it's hotter, it's more intimidating, it's longer, it's more expensive, and the fact that it proclaims itself to take place in a "torture chamber" isn't exactly the selling point that true devotees might imagine it to be! Keeping ordinary students coming is a challenge for any studio, I would imagine. Meanwhile, a single memorable class with a clever, loving teacher could turn a new student into a lifer.
Anyway, I have often lamented the fact that there are so many great intermediate level students that practice regularly that would make excellent teachers, but the majority of these people will never teach. In order for a person to have the desire to be a teacher, the nine weeks available at the specific times of year that the training is offered, and the money to go to training, for all of that to line up, well, that's obviously quite rare and a very special thing. My concern is that spoiled and whimsical young adults who have that kind of free block of time and free access to the bank of mom and dad are somewhat over-represented, and this demographic often (but not always) don't turn out to be the most knowledgeable or motivating. At least not for me.
This being said, I do still believe that we are truly saved by the dialogue and the sequence, and I am eternally grateful that it is copyrighted.
No comments:
Post a Comment