Motivation

Well, I'm now 22 classes into my return to Bikram yoga! 22 classes in about one month. That's very unshabby.

Motivation: I have come to realize that in the past, it truly took regular intervals of 30 day challenges to get me going to yoga consistently, which is a big part of the reason I didn't get the results I truly wanted. (This isn't to say I didn't get results - I still got amazing, lasting results going totally inconsistently as well as being utterly MIA for months at a time.)

I remember one class, though, a teacher (who seemed to be honing in on my style of attendance in particular, though she wasn't familiar with me as a practitioner) said that going every day or every other day in bursts, and then dropping out for days or weeks, wasn't as good as a consistent practice over the long term. I thought to myself, "she's right" - but I just couldn't find the motivation. I always lived near a studio, too - twice I've lived within a five minute walk of a studio, and I have so many memories of sitting on the couch with my yoga gear (outfit, towels, mat, water bottle) gathered up and ready to go, just dreading class, and wondering how on earth I was going to muster up the energy to go, to get through it.

I'd heard people say that half the battle of going to the gym was just getting there, and that once you were there you realized it wasn't so bad, and started to get happy about being there, and even enjoy yourself.

I'd heard people try to say that it was the same with BY.

Um....For a long time, I disagreed. Yes, just getting there was definitely a battle. No denying that. But half the battle? Uh, not really. An hour and a half of painful, uncomfortable, tiring, sometimes even boring, and seemingly never ending yoga was enough for a few battles, thank you very much. And then having to contend with a crowded change-room filled with hot, sweaty, loudly chatting females and a line up for the shower? There were many classes where just getting up from final resting pose, rolling up my mat, gathering my soaking wet towel and water bottle, and opening the door of the hot room to let myself out seemed like an impossible task. I would just lie there until the room was almost full again with people for the next class, and people were giving me worried looks. Once the teacher even came in and I was still lying there, feeling like I was going to die. (Anyway, this habit of mine developed partially out of post-class fatigue, and partially to avoid the shower line ups.)

But getting back on topic, the whole process of getting to and from a BY class can often well exceed two hours, so it's quite the commitment. Yes, the reward at the end of the class - the amazing, almost drug-high like feeling of well-being - was motivation enough to keep me going with a fairly steady practice for about three years, but just barely. There were many times throughout my practice at other studios, with other styles of yoga, (during my long absence), that I thought, "I will probably never go back to Bikram's. It was just too much effort." I loved going to hour long classes that didn't necessitate showers afterwards. I loved knowing that I could just chill out in an easy class.

If any of what I described sounds familiar to you, worry not, because there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

I can say in all honestly that BY is so much more do-able now that I'm stronger, in better shape, healthier, don't drink alcohol, more flexible, and convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt of its amazing health benefits. I feel like my level of motivation has undergone a complete transformation. I really understand what people mean when they say, "It never gets easier. But it gets better." That is so true. Even at my advancing level of practice - no longer a beginner, more of an intermediate student - it would be incorrect to say that the yoga is any 'easier' because that would mean I wasn't trying my best. The main difference now is that it's no longer "torturous". Whereas before, just doing every posture and staying in the postures for the prescribed amount of time was often the absolute most I could possibly do, and even then, I couldn't even do THAT. For every class that I could hold Standing Bow on a single side for the full sixty seconds, for instance, there were a dozen where, not only could I hold it, there was just no way that I could fight the dizziness and get back in once I'd fallen out. I was one of those people that was just standing there like a fool during Standing Bow. Now that I can actually hold that posture for the full length time on both sides, rarely falling out, (and when I do, I'm more than able to get back in straight away, actually I make that a priority), I am working very deeply at kicking up harder, on my way to some approximation of the ever-elusive standing splits.

So yeah, it is not really easier for me now - in fact, what I'm doing is harder work. But, I'm up for the challenge. The challenge is exciting, invigorating, inviting. This is an example of what I mean. Standing Bow, for instance, is a much more interesting challenge for me now that I can actually do it, and that means a lot in terms of motivation.

I did something else which I believed has also affected my motivation in a big way: A few weeks ago, when I was just getting back into the practice, I was starting to falter with motivation, as I always had. I had had a long day at work, and I wanted to stay in bed and watch a movie on Netflix. Also, I was hungry, possibly too hungry to do class without eating first, but it was too late to eat. Then I thought about how much water I'd drunk that day, and thought to myself that it wasn't nearly enough. I went through the mental process of convincing myself that it would be reasonable to skip class that day.

Suddenly, something snapped in me and I realized how unhappy and unfulfilled I would feel the next morning if I didn't go, so without even allowing myself to contemplate the issue for another second, I hastily gathered my stuff together and literally ran to the studio. I had an amazing class, and of course on the walk home I was just thanking myself mentally for having that moment, which resulted in the motivation I needed to get to class. When I got home, I took out a few markers and wrote myself a big colorful sign. On it, I described how good I felt, and at the same time I recalled how very much I didn't want to go earlier in the day. Then I wrote a very kind message, pleading with myself to only skip class for a truly legitimate reason, and never out of sheer laziness, lack of motivation, etc. I really leveled with myself on paper. Then I taped the colorful sign to the wall beside my bed.

Well, I think it worked!

Anyway, the main purpose of this post is to convince you that if you truly love this practice, but struggle with the motivation to go for any reason, it IS possible to overcome your reluctance. And ... you will see results in your strength, the more you go, even if it takes a long time.