You must master the physical before you can know the spiritual

I can't even believe that I wrote this month - I thought it had been even longer (though the last entry before that was exactly one month prior, so really, I'm averaging a post a month here).

I'm finding it so difficult to balance summer and a steady yoga practice that I'm almost yearning for summer to be over! Not really, of course, but this was a lot easier when it wasn't warm outside and the beach and patios and mini-holidays and endless other hot weather activities weren't calling out to me and distracting me so. Not helping matters is the fact that I was recently out of town for 9 days in a place where no Bikram studio exists. I drove out to the nearest one once but it was quite far and the drop-in rate is expensive, especially when I am paying for monthly unlimited at my own studio. However, I made a very interesting discovery while I was out of town:

Flow yoga.

I actually don't know if this is what it was technically called. I found a studio that caters to people at beginning levels, I suppose, or at least provides a place where people can continue to practice yoga while they are away from their own studios. (It's located in Point Roberts, a town that swells to three times its population during the summer months, so there were lots of vacationers in class.) I went for three classes at the studio: first a beginner's class, then a "level 3" class, and then a mixed-level class. The third was definitely my favourite. We went through a lot of different postures, but it felt more like a dance routine in parts than the yoga series I am used to. For instance, we would do a small sequence, and then repeat it again and again, but upon each repitition a new element was added, and when the sequence was complete we would do it a number of times more. Then we would start a new sequence, but some things would stay constant. It's hard to explain. The instructor, Desiree, called it a sun salutation, but it was quite different from the sun salutation that we were taught at my previous studio, and I thought that was quite standard. I'm quite sure she was making up the routines herself, and some of what we did didn't even feel like yoga, really. I don't know. We did a few postures that are included in the Bikram sequence, but they were different! In particular, Triangle and Tree poses were not the same at all, and much easier! Same with Spine-Twist. Everything was easier, to be honest.

I told Desiree that I did Bikram yoga quite regularly, and the first thing she was concerned about was that I was not used to doing vinyasas--in particular, Downward Dog. That's interesting because one of the first things I ever read about Bikram yoga was that the reason the sun salutation was never introduced to the series is because Bikram believes that Downward Dog is too difficult for beginners. I don't understand why it is any harder than anything else, though I don't doubt it. DD is painful for me in the hamstrings if I really go into it, and I'm never sure that I am doing it right. At my very first studio, I was often corrected while in Downward Dog and it always felt much more difficult in the "right position".

Anyway, I'm not going to say that any of the classes were a piece of cake, but it was a lot easier to get through than Bikram. Bikram is guaranteed to be a tough class, even when you have a good class. It can feel like an enormous commitment to get through the full 90 minutes. Even when I say to myself "You're in rough shape today, you're tired, you're sore, don't go too far into the postures, anything that you can manage is going to be fine, just take it easy", it is still quite the workout! I can't just "hang out". However, I do feel like I could get away with that in a Flow class. It was very peaceful and relaxing, and it felt good to go through a vinyasa and then relax in child's pose. None of the poses made me feel like I was about to die or, at the very least, keel over, and her manner and voice were so pleasant I could have gone to sleep to her gentle instructions. She played all this jingly music (think Krishna Das, Deva Premal, Buddha Bar kinda stuff) that put me in a terrific mood, and the doors were open so that we felt a natural breeze throughout the practice. It was warm and tranquil and friendly. I absolutely loved it.

However, it was no Bikram's Beginning Yoga Class.

It was just different. A lot of times, peoples' biggest complaint about BY is that it doesn't seem to encourage any spiritual growth and it can feel really clinical. Not all of the Bikram teachers seem very nice, and some of them can be quite pushy in class, which does not really feel the least bit relaxing or meditative. Some teachers mention the mental or spiritual aspect, but most of the time they focus on the physiological benefits of the yoga and encourage you to "work" hard. (I honestly couldn't see Desiree ever referring to yoga as "work".) The lights are on bright, and for the entire standing series all you can focus on is your red-faced, inflexible self in the mirror, trying (and failing) to pass for graceful. Also, you don't always find the friendliest people at the studio, and before and after class students and teachers alike can be found milling about, laughing, engaged in lengthy conversations that have nothing to do with yoga, talking on cell phones, etc. It irritates me at times. As I said in my other blog, when I began this, I was horrified when I walked into my studio for the first time. No candles. No jingle music. They had the radio on. It stunk.

Yeah.

Nonetheless, I wouldn't trade this stuff for anything. The practice is hands-down the most important thing that I do. It is more important than my impending career commencement. It's more important than my social life, which is weird for me, really weird. It's more important than going away for mini-vacations, even. I feel that I need it in my life more than anything except my loved ones.

However, if you want to get more out of the practice, it is really a do-it-yourself kind of deal. I was reading a pamphlet on a yoga workshop that is going to focus on getting the most out of each asana - the difference between mimicking a posture and really practicing a posture. Bingo! That's what I need to learn! I know about breathing, of course, and some level of focus is an absolute requirement or you'll never be able to hold the poses, but there must be a better headspace for the practice besides what I have got going on. I try to think "Bengal Tiger strength, English Bulldog determination", and it helps, but I feel like I'm missing something. Bikram says, "You must master the physical before you can know the spiritual", but I have recently come to the conclusion that I don't understand! When will that be?

For the time being, I might take a Flow (or other, who knows) class here and there, but nothing's going to replace Bikram just yet.