Good Class

Yesterday, I had a very good Bikram class, but I am sore as hell today for some reason. My ribs, my upper back, my hamstrings. Wow. Interesting, though, because I felt really flexible in class. Maybe I went a bit too far.

The only part of my body that is NOT bothering me, surprisingly, are my wonky knees. I can't figure this out because they give me all kinds of trouble and I had my thighs almost parallel to the floor in the second part of Awkward Pose yesterday thanks to the not-so-gentle encouraging of our instructor. The reason I have trouble in this pose is because of my knees, but I started to think yesterday that maybe it has developed into laziness and someone besides me figured that out first. However, with my body, if it's not one thing it's another.

After over four months of fairly steady practice, I still can't lock out my knees for any extended period of time (ie 60 seconds). My sister can. What am I doing wrong? I have the idea that I am not relaxing into the postures like I am supposed to and thus expending too much energy, making it so that I can't hold some of them for the required length of time. Exerting too much energy also interferes with balance, another key aspect of the yoga practice that I am struggling with. I know that all of this is quite normal and it would be a mistake for me to compare myself with anyone else, especially my own sister, but I always feel like I don't do as well as others in anything despite my most sincere efforts. This is just me being honest - it certainly isn't how I like to present myself to the public!

My flexibility is definitely improving, but it was at a pretty low level to begin with; also, it seems to waver. Some days I'm much more flexible than others. For instance, I know that today won't be a good day, I can just feel it.

Notably for yesterday, though: In Standing Separate Leg Stretching, I can grab the bottoms of my feet with ease, even upon widening my legs further in order to get my head closer to the ground. I honestly see my head on the ground in my future, and I didn't think that it would ever be possible before. In Standing Separate Leg Head-to-Knee, I can almost straighten out my front leg completely, especially if my hands are separated, and I can get the tip of my forehead onto my knee. I don't know if I mentioned it but I'd begun to die in this pose, I just couldn't handle holding it. Things are better now. Hmmm...what else? I actually got compliments in Tree and Camel of all poses, not sure why, but I can see that my Tree is better. Toe Stand is also much better, one of my most improved postures, but I can't seem to get up on first set. I just collapse out of the pose and stand up normally. One thing is for sure: by the time we hit Toe Stand, I'm ready for that 2 minutes of relaxation. I am so ready.

Spine-strengthening series is still tough, especially Locust. In the third part, it sometimes feels as though my legs are a centimetre above the ground. I know they're going higher, but it takes SO MUCH effort. Also, I've developed the tendency to want to separate my legs a bit. I know this is wrong. I'll stop! My instructor had to remind me to keep the tops of my feet on the ground in Cobra, which I've never heard anyone asked to do in the past. I don't think that I ordinarily lift my feet. I guess I'll have to watch for that.

Anyway, I really hope that I can get back on the track of attending class daily, as long as I'm in town.