Well, I haven't written in a little while, but today was my 16th consecutive class. I feel pretty good. My upper back is sore, but that's about it for bodily aches and pains. (That being said, it's really quite sore and interfering with some of the postures, but it's actually getting better and I'm going for a massage on Monday.) My flexibility is almost at its best, except in hands-to-feet pose, as there was a time when I could lock my knees out better, for longer and more often. I'm not sure what's going on there, but I'm going to push through it. My moods have been pretty good, but I've been fighting with people lately. It's actually been a really busy week and a half with relatives in town, a full schedule at work, and plenty of things to do and take care of.
I'm surprised I've managed to go to yoga every day as I've been overtired, and on Tuesday night I went out drinking and clubbing until 2 AM - I had to leave work early the next day, but I trooped off to yoga that evening all the same. By the end of the week, though, I started to really think about how much I need this long weekend. At work on Friday, I had absolutely had it with some of the students. I teach ESL, and normally I love my job but lately I've become really irritated with the prevalence of racism and homophobia amongst a lot of the students at my school. Usually I turn a blind eye towards it because I can get very argumentative and sensitive and in the past I've had very little luck with closed-minded people, so I barely even bother. I never seem to convince anyone of anything when it comes to the issues I care about the most, and then I mull over it for hours afterward; also, I feel I have to stay relatively neutral as a language teacher as we discuss some heavy issues in class sometimes, so unless someone says something highly offensive (which does happen, actually) I will let a lot of different opinions pass and be heard with little interference. On Friday, however, I was ready to blow my top.
Anyway, I'm really happy I'm on this challenge. Did I mention I'm on the 60 day challenge? I know that after completing several 30 day challenges in the past I've said I want to establish a regular practice without going the route of a challenge, but let's face it, I haven't had much luck with that. However, I did manage to go very regularly for a month and a half for the first time in a year before I started this challenge, and I really wanted to go 60 days in a row at some point very soon, so this was a good excuse for me to do it, because a 30 or 60 challenge popped up at my studio. I don't know of anyone else that is doing the 60 day, though. Maybe it's just me. Anyway, that's what Bikram recommends for beginners, and Ren told me I had to go back to the beginning and start again, so here I am. Day 16. Yesterday I was 1/4th of the way through!
I've made the realization that many times I go to class and don't try my very best. Perhaps even as little as 75% effort is what I give some classes. I've just found it so difficult to get there in the first place that I don't beat myself up if I sit a posture out or come out of something early, even if it's not absolutely necessary. But then I realized that it's been ages since I gave 100% in Half-Locust, (because I freaking hate that posture), and maybe that's why I am having all these pains in my upper back! It makes sense, doesn't it? Every posture prepares your body for the next, and the next, and the next. Ren said that if you miss a posture, you basically mess up the rest of your class so even if you feel really sick you should at least do one set. Anyway, even if I was doing two half-hearted sets of Half-Locust, I wasn't properly preparing myself for the rest of spine-strengthening series and every posture after that, especially Camel and Rabbit which totally focus on the spine! (Sometime I cannot do Rabbit, I'm not kidding, I have to stay scrunched up on my heels because of the pain I feel when I lift my hips up.) Well, today I said to myself, "you are going to try 100% in everything including Half-Locust," and that's exactly what I did. The posture wasn't brutal at all. It was fine. What was I so worried about? Attempting it half-heartedly actually makes the posture a lot harder is what I realized today.
Anyway, and I'm not just saying this for special effects, I honestly felt especially good after today's class because I worked so hard, and it showed me that actually, I have been kind of lazy and it really does make a difference. Also, the past few classes it's been really hard for me to twist during spine-twisting because of the pain in my back, but today it was just a teensy-bit easier.
OK, well, I want to keep up with this so I can look back and remember what it was like during this challenge.
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